tea & honey blog
“Care' is also a social capacity and activity involving the nurturing of all that is necessary for the welfare and flourishing of life. Above all, to put care centre stage means recognising and embracing our interdependencies.”
― The Care Collective, The Care Manifesto: The Politics of Interdependence
MAY 2022: Mental Health Awareness Month
I met up with The Honeycomb’s resident mental health therapist Dorian for lunch at “Nellie’s” restaurant on Division St. in early January of 2020. I had met her a little over a year earlier when she asked to meet with me to discuss a possible collaboration for the passion project I was a co-founder of at that time called “Books, Brunch & Botánica”. We connected almost instantaneously on our values around wellness for BIPOC and the inaccessibility of care for our community. We also connected in our dismay of the socio-political issues we faced as a diaspora and our critiques of the cultural incompetency of modern western therapeutic practices when treating BIPOC patients.
This time in 2020 we met so that I can propose an offer. I told her I had just acquired a space and wanted to bring her on in partnership as the resident therapist. She had just left the organization she was practicing at and was trying to decide her next move. I had no solid game plan or strategy on how to make it work but I knew out the gate that an on-site bi-lingual Puerto Rican femme therapist was exactly what needed to be solidified as a rooted service at The Honeycomb. I loved Dorian’s practice of F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself) radical therapy inspired by liberation, feminist and multi-cultural psychology. This approach that acknowledged the systemic impact on the mental and emotional bodies of Black, Indigenous, People of Color including all sexualities and genders in a real way was the gap I felt needed to be filled. Especially in the communities we served and the work we were embarking on.
To my excitement she said she was down for the challenge and freedom of running her own practice within our vibrant walls. Of all of the community members I approached initially (and there were quite a few) offering a partnership within this newly acquired space to do work in, she was the one who said yes and showed up from day one, committed.
Dorian has been a major player at The Honeycomb for two years now. We had no idea just how important having mental health accessibility would be, especially when two months after acquiring the space we were plunged into a global pandemic and shut down across the country.
During the pandemic Dorian hosted virtual therapy, workshops and poetry circles still going on today. She also co-founded and piloted a young adult wellness program called “The H.E.A.L (honey, education and love) Unacademy in 2021, an initiative that aims to center BIPOC youth and young adults to learn wellness education and practice that expose young people to not only emotional, physical, and spiritual wellness education and tools, but also cultural, community and financial wellness.
True to our pattern and form, early this year Dorian came to me again, this time with a different announcement that not only was she returning to The Honeycomb after having her first child, but she was expanding the practice.
Allow us to re-introduce our resident mental health therapist Dorian A. Ortega + Team
CONTACT DORIAN HERE: EMAIL
Special Letter from Dorian:
“In early 2020, I started a private practice named F.L.Y. Radical Therapy, housed within the Honeycomb Network located on Paseo Boricua in the heart of Humboldt Park. F.L.Y. stands for First Love Yourself and the practice takes a radical approach to therapy that involves loving yourself while understanding how systemic oppression impacts mental health, as well as getting to the roots of healing.
When I finalized the paperwork and began the practice, I did so right before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. This meant re-creating a healing space with virtual offerings. The Honeycomb Network is a beautiful, blooming, collaborative, creative, and spiritual space.
Opening a practice of radical healing to transform and re-think therapy for this community has been a dream for me. Two years later, the growth of the practice, the support from community relationships, the intentional outreach for a decolonized therapy approach, and the opportunity to have a wider audience is incredibly heartwarming.
I am honored to introduce three new therapists to the practice who will be growing, learning, and continuing to spread radical healing to communities that are seeking an intentional transformative experience.”
INTRODUCING OUR NEWEST THERAPISTS ADDED TO THE TEAM!
READ JESSICA’S FULL BIO HERE: BIO
READ NAYESHA’S FULL BIO HERE: BIO
READ MIMI’S FULL BIO HERE: BIO
CHECK OUT OUR ADDITIONAL WELLNESS OFFERINGS AND RESOURCES FOR MAY HERE:
MAY 2022 CALENDAR OF EVENTS
“PLANT MEDICINE FOR MAY DAYS”
A love letter of plant allies to lean on in these times from our current resident herbalist Peregrine Bermas:
READ HERE
We are doing our best to curate intentional tools and practices for our collective care and hope you will be able to find something you can redeem, learn or make that supports your flourishing.
In radical love and FLY reflections always,
Denise
She/her/ella
Founder/Director, The Honeycomb Network
It me ;)
“tea & Honey”
the Honeycomb Network’s monthly blog of insights, recaps, recipes, resources, themes & some tea.
February 2022:
“A Love Ethic”
This month’s theme at The Honeycomb is “A Love Ethic” and this entry is an ode to bell hooks and all she taught me about what a true love ethic is (and isn’t). Added to the text are reflective writing prompts in each section to explore your own understanding deeper.
But before diving into the reading, if you want to know February’s list of medicina, you can find this month’s offering of community resources, recipes and herbal allies here:
“For whom the bell tolls”
I, like so many, was stunned to hear of bell hooks' transition in December of last year. Immediately I witnessed the outpouring on the internet with her photos and quotes. Her books ”All about Love New Visions” and “Teaching to Transgress” are currently on the bestseller list as fans - those long term and newly inspired - have either made purchases, started book clubs and/or dusted off books in their home library to revisit.
The book “All About Love…” tends to be where many were exposed or inspired by her writing at an initial stage. It is quoted heavily. I think I started backwards (or right on time for me) with her successor book “Communion: The Female Search For Love” which I found in my college bookstore back in my early twenties. I was a young single mother at Columbia college studying to be a writer and I was in a situationship with my youngest’s child’s father. At this point in my life I had very skewed definitions of relationships and an even deeper skewed vision of myself and my self worth. Dealing with the high’s and low’s of a toxic romance that would last for years, I remember being blown away by the ideas presented to me in the book.
It was the first time I read about centering a love ethic especially within a patriarchal system. This idea of a love ethic which hooks lists as: “...a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.” in all areas from romantic, to family, to friendship, as well as the work we are a part of was stunning to me. It helped to shift my interpretation of the definition of love in various places in my life
Photo by: Grace Chimezie
"When we love children, we acknowledge by our every action that they are not property, that they have rights—that we respect and uphold their rights." -bell hooks.
As a Puerto Rican young woman growing up in Chicago I had been raised very differently than much of what was being presented in hook’s writing. Culturally it was a shock. Especially when dealing with children. This challenge of our normal notion on parenting and that children should have autonomy in their decision making was foreign to me. I came from a household where kids did as they were told, respect elders no matter what, there was no autonomy in the way she spoke of, no privacy, no boundaries on say so, physical violence was used on a regular basis for discipline and there was a lot of fear conflated as respect.
And this is not to diss my parents, they were surviving too and doing what they thought was right to keep us from trouble, from turning out “bad”. But I had so much to unravel in order to break certain cycles and it was bell hooks who provided the language and bravery to help me to begin that work with my children. Her ideologies and radical mind helped shape me in my work and personal life, especially as an evolving parent.
“The one person who will never leave us, whom we will never lose, is ourself. Learning to love our female selves is where our search for love must begin.”
― Bell Hooks, Communion: The Female Search for Love
bell hooks words also presented a context of self-love that I needed at that time. It helped empower me through the pain of abandonment as a young mother raising my son alone. It helped lift the veil in the ways I betrayed myself by accepting bread crumbs in a desperate attempt to keep love from starving. It planted seeds in me to nurture my heart’s questions, to begin the search in my own soil for the love I truly needed.
It is February 2022 and everyone is radical until it’s Valentine's day. Now we are in full pressure to consume love like chocolate boxes. We are shown reel after reel of new products to help us get the love we want, the brujas are selling love in a jar, the makers are slapping pink hearts on everything, the love market has burst like pastel confetti and if you ain’t in a love partnership you might as well go to sleep or light a vela because ValenTIMES does not know you. Love is a hot commodity, on trend, on market, on brand. It is outside of us, something to own. Something to consume. Something we are being inundated with.
And still so many are feeling unloved. So many are grappling with the grief of loss. So many are clawing their way out of depression and this hyper capitalistic view of this love we are missing at times can exacerbate the feeling of void. As I write this I am home, taking time off to be with my teen who is also struggling with depression, who is also navigating loneliness as a young person in a pandemic with a single parent who works 10-12 hours a day sustaining a brick and mortar. There are so many other layers to how we move in love and where it is most vital to pour into.
TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide
There have been a slew of suicides, especially from young people within the past two years up until very recent. Mental health is center stage especially as we are all collectively pretty traumatized from a 2 year whirlwind of a global pandemic. We have heard of high profile and community deaths from this choice and it has devastated so many. To me in order to have an authentic love ethic we need to pause on the pain. Feel it. Listen to it. Reach for it. Heal it. Set it free.
“To be loving is to be open to grief, to be touched by sorrow, even sorrow that is unending.”
bell hooks wrote that the real power of love is to transform us. To continuously work from a love ethic in authenticity we need to acknowledge that love is for healing, it is for reflective work, because THAT is transformative work. So before buying that love candle or searching outside of yourself, find the source of where love needs to illuminate the wounds within, so it may heal clearly.
“There can be no love without justice” - bell hooks
STEVE SCHAPIRO/CORBIS VIA GETTY IMAGES
Understanding a love ethic to be the necessary basis for justice, collective liberation and decolonization was a game changer for me as a young activist involved in movements to free political prisoners and as an educator, writer and rebel rouser in my community. It helped me to ground in love for my people and taught me lessons on boundaries and the ways we undermine our movements when power or ego supersedes love. This is not to say self empowerment is a negative thing, especially when dealing with powerlessness in systems, we need bolts of energy to keep us courageous. Malcolm X embodied this! But we should always move in love.
Chicago Puerto Rican’s marching peacefully against violence and injustice. | Photo: Chicago Tribune Archives
For me, what I continue to learn is that a love ethic is also heavy on accountability work, it is here for truth telling, it is here to evolve us to get free. It is here to shake us loose, It is here to keep us hope filled. A love ethic is the root of creative expression and how we dream beyond limitation.
Bell hooks stated that “... The civil rights movement transformed society in the United States because it was fundamentally rooted in a love ethic.”
“...time and time again our search for love brings us back to the place where we started, back to our own heart's mirror…”
I am thankful to bell hooks and so many other Black feminist scholars, poets and activists who continue to provide blue prints for embodying a love ethic in my life. When I am weary and wounded, when I am discouraged or fearful, I turn to their teachings and most importantly, I turn within, to my own spirit, and to my home and community because ultimately that is always where a love ethic should begin and reside.
I leave you with a few links to bell hook’s writing to reflect on if you are interested in further reading:
Love as a practice of freedom: https://uucsj.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/bell-hooks-Love-as-the-Practice-of-Freedom.pdf
Toward a worldwide culture of love: https://www.lionsroar.com/toward-a-worldwide-culture-of-love/
Free Pdf full book of “All about Love: New Visions” https://www.pdfdrive.com/all-about-love-new-visions-e162864122.html
Til next month,
With love & Honey,
Denise
“TEA & Honey”
From
The Honeycomb Network
January 2022: Abre Camino
On the eve of New Years eve 2021, I sit with friends at The Honeycomb after closing hours. We sip Blue Lotus tea and contemplate the year ahead. We are in the eye of another COVID outbreak and one friend says, “it seems like everyone is sick.” All of us know someone who is currently battling the newest evolved monster that has arrived just in time to ruin our holidays and hope. We laugh at the absurdity of our reality and try to figure out what happened, “we got too lax.” “we got too excited.” “We stopped wearing masks,” as we adjust our designer muzzles over our mouths and recall the last couple of new years past. How our resiliency fueled our hope in overcoming and surviving another year in a pandemic. At this point though, the word and work has lost a bit of its spark. Truthfully, everyone is tired.
“I’m not even gonna make big plans right now. I feel like I need to enter into this new year carefully. Like, knock at the door and take off my shoes.” one friend states. We all agree. This year we are walking in a bit more humbled, a bit more cautious. Less presumptuous, less full speed ahead. Instead, we decide we want to flow into the opening.
“Nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished” - Lao Tzu
Abre Camino:
In “Plant Witchery” author and bruja Juliet Diaz lists plant wisdom for over 200 plants. Her first highlight is “Abre Camino” which translates from Spanish to “road opener.” This plant is known for its unblocking, clearing and road opening properties. She states, “abre camino clears obstacles, providing an “open road” for you to pursue your goals and dreams. Whatever has been blocking you, whether it comes from inside you or from outside forces, she will remove that block…”
This is the energy I want to enter into this new year with. It is this plant that is the theme of The Honeycomb’s January 2022 month.
Love & Limpias: A baño to clear the path
For the past week, I have been creating a special baño for this opening year. I worked with all of the above organic, sustainably sourced plants and herbs.
Heavy Hittas: Abre Camino (literally means open roads, it clears the path and its medicine has been used for generations in the Caribbean diaspora) Quita maldicion (removes any negative energy or blocks) Rompe Saraguey - used dry and FRESH (breaks any negative curses or evil eye sent your way)
Allies: Holy Basil, Rosemary (Protection), Chamomile (Healing the path) and other organic herbs, various salts, clear quartz crystals, fire, blessed oils and other elements. This bath was charged, sang, danced and prayed over and the herbs and spirits were given offerings. It was placed in the dark and light of the new moon to cleanse and the path to be opened, protected and blessed.
While I am not going to dare utter the term “new year, new me” I will say, “new year, all clear”
There are only a select number of abre camino baños available, they will be fully charged 16 oz jars ready to pick up by January 5th, 2022. They will come with instructions on how to use and how to dispose of the herbs afterwards. This herbal blend can be used for the body and/or the home as a floor wash. Each jar will come with a tea light candle, a small sage bundle (in honor/ebbo of Obatala/Oshanla - who is named the governing deities of this year: Letra del Año) and 3 bay leaves to write your own personal petition.
Excerpt from “Plant Witchery” by Juliet Diaz
In addition, to go along with the first theme of the first month of 2022. We will be offering a few ways to “abre camino”.
Stay tuned for the following virtual offerings coming up this month, (members will get early access to register):
Recap & Reimagine Goal & Intention journaling (Free offering) 1/8/22 (eight is a special number)
New Year Blessed Manifestation Jar with Melissa Duprey 1/9/22
+ FUTURE OFFERINGS (DATES TBD)
Abre Camino writing workshop
Sacred smoke blend workshop
Body movement & meditation classes
*Stay tuned for these upcoming offerings by following our instagram or subscribing for our updates.
FREE VIRTUAL OFFERING: “Recap & Reimagine” Goal & Intention WORKSHOP + GOALS & INTENTIONS WORKBOOK:
Join us in carving out time to reflect on the lessons and blessings we are stepping out of and write out goals and intentions for the new year in various areas of our lives. Even if you have already begun this process, it is auspicious to continue writing the pathways to what you are calling into this year. Our intentions are living breathing extensions of our soul purpose and cultivating the space to hone in is integral to sustaining and thriving on the road before us.
Creating opportunities to speak in a collective setting increases its potency and allows the accountability and reflection we need.
The workbook that will be used for our “recap and reimagine” goal and intention setting workshop is from Erika Cramer aka The Queen of Confidence Coach, a Puerto Rican life and business coach out of Melbourne Australia. You can connect with Erika’s website here. The workbook is downloadable and free.
The Recap & Reimagine workshop is also free and will take place on January 8th, 2022, 10:10am -12:12 pm (CST). you can register here:
Or you can utilize the workbook on your own instead:
And finally, the plant ally that I am crushing on this month and utilizing in various ways is Blue Lotus Flower.
This special plant magic “opens the road" of our third eye to assist in our visioning the year ahead in addition to a ton of other amazing properties to ease anxiety, depression, insomnia and cultivate balance, it can be used as a tea or mixed in your smoke blends. Be on the look out for our own special formulas created with Blue Lotus all month!
*As always, please consult with your doctor if you are pregnant, nursing and/or on any medications.
You can purchase .5 oz in our apothecary/botanica in person at the shop or online here:
As we begin to stretch into this new cycle, the intent is to offer tools that expand and open not only our energetic fields, but our minds and bodies to receive all that we have been preparing for, all that we have been working towards, and all that we deserve. May the roads be cleared and blessed, may our knocks be answered.
With love & honey,
~Denise Ruiz
Founder/Queen Bee, The Honeycomb Network
It me. <3